When I joined MDO, one of the major things that I had to learn for my new job was how to sell stuff. It seemed easy at first; someone wants a computer, you give them a computer and take their money. No problem.
The problem is that just selling computers is a bad idea. People may come into the shop determined that all they need is a computer, but people aren't very bright. They may insist, "No, I definitely don't need Microsoft Office," but yours will be the name they'll curse when they can't open that e-mail attachment and it will be, "that rubbish computer," that they blame when they get a virus after telling you that AVG is, "just as good as those pay ones." So, in order to make sure that you don't get the customer coming back to bitch at you for believing what they said (or worse, never coming back again), you actually have to work out what they need and then convince them that they need that.
In addition to this, plain old computers don't make MDO very much money. If we just sold computers and nothing else, it literally wouldn't pay my salary (meagre though it is). So the company itself is quite big on you making sure people go away with all the bits they need, instead of buying the computer from you and the printer from Tesco's.
So, I learned to sell stuff, got really quite good at it across the years and found my outlook on life changing with my new knowledge. I listened to the election debates and realised that they were using the same techniques that I did. I listened to people delivering bad news or arguing and found myself thinking, "You're doing that wrong; you're not selling it right." I watched Derren Brown sell people on a particular version of reality that they bought despite it contradicting all their senses. I listened to my managers telling me why I couldn't have a raise and heard that they were selling to me too.
Therefore, when I saw the advertisement for my new job (2 weeks, 3 days, if we're counting, btw), whom we'll call Paris & State for the basis of this blog (P&S for short), I decided that I would use the knowledge gained across these three and a half years. And it worked. Really bloody well. Not only did I get the job, but I aced the interviews and felt in control of everything at all times.
On the basis that there's obviously something to this technique, I've decided to write out my findings and advice, for the education and edification of the interwebs.
The Grand Unified Theory of Interview
Why blinkers are actually really good for you
The point of an interview is to make the interviewer want you to have the job.
That looks really stupid when you write it down. But it's important. Everything you do in an interview should be about getting the job; every action you take should have some kind of a purpose. People get wrapped up in tangential stuff when they're faced with an interview and they don't put 100% into getting that yes. And so they don't get it.
Don't focus on a nebulous thing like 'doing well'. Make sure you know how you are going to make the interviewer give you that job. Think about why you would be good for them, why you would kick arse at this job and why they really need to hire you. Then go to that interview with that as your focus. You're not there to make nice; you're there solely to communicate the reason for them to hire you.
As a sidenote to this, believe your reasoning. Repeat it to yourself and sound confident. Cocky, even.
If you don't believe you would do well at this job, if you don't honestly believe that you have the qualities to succeed, then why are you going for it? They won't hire you; not because you're not good enough, but because they don't believe you're good enough because you didn't believe it and so you didn't make them believe it.
That sentence makes sense if you read it slowly.
Research.
I can't believe I have to say this one, but it feels useful. Read all up on the company and prepare some glib facts that you can reference to show that you have. For P&S, I mentioned that I knew they put a lot of emphasis on repeat custom. Not only did it mean my answer was tailored to how I knew they worked, it meant that they knew I cared enough to do my research.
Sit and spin
You're not perfect for the job. There are flaws in your application, holes in your CV that are gaping and cannot possibly be ignored. It would be silly of you not to make reference to them, because otherwise it'll look like you're hiding something, right? Right?
Don't do it. Every word you say means something in an interview, even if you don't mean anything about it. You may think you're just casually noting in passing that you've been out of the industry for a while or that you don't have any experience in this field, but what you're actually saying is, "I consider this important enough to mention. I am flawed, I tell you; horribly, terribly flawed!" No matter how casual you are, you've just made it a big deal because you've got a limited amount of time and you're using some of it to tell the interviewer why they shouldn't hire you.
That's the central point actually. This interview is short (not matter how long it may feel). Tick the boxes that you know the interviewer wants to hear and hit their buzzwords.
People are hired because they have experience. So emphasise your experience.
People are hired because they have qualifications. So tell them about your qualifications.
People are hired because they can think on their feet. So show them that you can think on your feet.
People are hired because the interviewer likes them. So make the interviewer like you.
People are hired because the interviewer likes breasts. So show them your... wait. Scratch that last one.
Talk about your strong points. Try and work it so that every answer links back to one of your virtues and be explicit about it. If you are a cunning enough linguist (oh yeah, I went there), you should be able to make every word you say be a reason to get hired. For P&S, I answered a question about my current job by talking about hitting sales targets, being driven to succeed by my competitive instinct, and winning the customers back by being brilliant. The question wasn't, "Are you any good at selling to targets while keeping customers happy?" but I managed to answer that in the process of answering the question actually asked.
If you absolutely must talk about a hole in your application, if you feel that it has to be excused, then justify why it's actually good in the same sentence if you can. You're mentioning it to improve their opinion of you - this is a positive sentence. For P&S, I referenced not coming out of university with a degree, but did it in such a way so that I sounded decisive and in control. I chose to leave university, because I reassessed my career path and made the decision to change direction.
It's not that you're dangerously inexperienced; you have assessed your life and chosen to enter this industry and build a career with them. It's not that you've been out of the industry for years; you decided to go into a different industry, but you've decided that you're really passionate about x and want to build a career with this company. In addition to this, you're a lightning fast learner and here's the proof of how well you've picked up new skills...
Spin isn't just for politicians.
Crouch, touch, pause... ... ... ... ... ... Engage!
If you sound confident and commanding, interviewers will be impressed. The best way not to sound confident and commanding is to say, "Um."
The thing is that, "Um," is the easiest word to reach for in an interview, especially when someone's firing questions at you. If you tell me you can have a good answer on the tip of your tongue for every question they will ask, as soon as they ask it, without pausing, then you're very weird. So, the best thing to do is have coping strategies.
The easiest thing to do is prepare some answers. There are common interview questions that you will almost always be asked and they're a google search away, along with ideas for answers. If you know how you're going to answer, "Why do you want this job?" before you start, then that's one "um" averted.
However, that won't work for everything and I know a lot of people hate the idea of having a patter rehearsed. So, the other solution is to delay without sounding like you don't know the answer. My technique is to start my answer with a rephrasing of the question:
"What qualities do you think you can bring to our company?"
"There are a lot of good qualities that I can bring to the company. The first one would be..."
I've gained about five seconds of thinking time there, given myself a good runup and focus point to my answer, confirmed that I was listening and paying attention and, most importantly, sounded like I knew what I was talking about.
Choose your words carefully, Mr Bond. They may be your last
NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming and is basically about the relationship between words, thought patterns, behaviours and beliefs. If you've ever seen Derren Brown's 'magic', this is one of his favourite toys. Words matter far more than the meanings attached to them; people attach feelings and ideas to them too. You can turn this to your advantage.
First off, be positive with your words. Be definite and be direct. The aim here is to make the interviewer believe that you're confident, competent and, most of all, that he likes you. You can do this the hard way by actually being confident, competent and likeable, but that's no fun. The brain is a huge short-cut machine and, if you can provide your interviewer's with enough stimuli that it associates with liking, it will honestly believe that it likes you.
This sounds complicated, but it's the easiest thing in the world.
Love, Delighted, Wonderful, Perfect, Brilliant, Excellent, Thrilled, Excited, Fantastic. These are positive, definite words and they're ones that people don't use very often (especially in England) because they have such emphasis. When people hear them, their brain assumes that there's a very firm reason for them to be there. "This is a positive and definite and happy conversation, so therefore I shall be positive and definite and happy to match it. Ooh, look there's a person there. He must be the thing I'm positive about."
They're like thyme in tomato sauces - drop them into a sentence and suddenly the whole thing becomes that much more certain and credible.
"Why did you apply for this job?"
"I saw the advertisement and I did some reading on your company. I like [subject] and I'm interested in a job that lets me do that. Also, my last job was [this] which is relevant to the position."
"I saw the advertisement and I did some reading on your company. I've always loved [subject] and the fact that this opportunity would allow me to do that is very interesting to me. In addition to this, I've got experience with [this], which makes me a perfect fit for the position."
The second answer is better. Everyone 'likes' things. You're the person who 'loves'. Everybody's 'interested' in things; you're 'very interested.' Other people have qualifications and experience and other good qualities, but you're the guy who's just told the interviewer that you're perfect for the opening. You're not good, you're not okay, you're not average. You fit the position perfectly and the interviewer's brain is now looking at things through that filter, rather than assessing whether you're 'good enough, I suppose, cause there's no-one better.'
That brings me neatly onto:
Say what you mean, dammit!
Don't rely on facts to do the talking for you - Let your talking do the talking for you. Say what you would normally imply. "I'm perfect for this position, because [reason]", "I want this job because [reason]", "I have experience in [field], which means [stuff]."
If you leave the interviewer to draw their own conclusions, then they will draw their own conclusions and they might not be the ones you want them to draw. Don't give them facts and leave them to work out what should be obvious; tell them what's obvious and then justify it.
This also has the ancillary benefit of being an easy way of getting that thinking time I talked about earlier, because each time you do it, your sentence starts off with something really bloody obvious.
Stop before you go off and try to become a football manager with Southampton, of all places
Clive Woodward, architect of England's 2003 Rugby World Cup success, has a pithy little maxim about improving - Rather than improving something by 100%, improve 100 things by 1%. 1
I wouldn't go about trusting everything out of the man's mouth, but that's bloody good advice. Think about the little things that make a difference. The aim of the game is to leave the interviewer thinking that they want to hire you, so look at the tiny little subconscious things that could affect their opinion of you.
Smile when you meet them. Firm handshake. Greet them with the enthusiasm and warmth in your voice that you would normally reserve for a good friend. The brain is a shortcut machine; if it meets someone smiling and acting like a friend, it will file them under 'friend', 'pleasant' and 'liked'.
Buy a new suit/outfit. Quite apart from the fact that you will look smart, if you pick the right one then you will feel like someone in a new suit, looking the dog's bollocks and it'll show on the outside. Polish your shoes. Do your hair just so, put your contact lenses in, dress yourself up like you're on a date. Pretty people do better, because the brain is genetically predisposed to like them and no-one's perfectly objective. And if you look your best, you'll feel your best.
Google "Common [myjob] interview questions". Check the [subjectarea] section of BBC News to see if there are current events you could be aware of and reference.
Arrive 5 minutes early. Be nice to the receptionist. Be poised in the waiting room. Look happy, look confident. Think about how you sit, what you're doing with your hands, how you move. Don't fiddle with a pen. Smile at people. Make eye contact with everybody without staring.
Really, don't be a dick about it.
Have you ever heard the expression, "Dress for the job you want"? Well, the same applies to behaviour.
Act like you've already got the job and this is a formality. That doesn't mean be lax, but treat it like it's self-evident that they're going to hire you (without being rude, obviously). This takes advantage of the shortcut machine thing again - if someone's acting like they're a shoo-in (without being a dick about it, obviously), then you start believing that they are.
Easiest way to do this? When the interviewer asks whether you have any questions - ask them when the next stage of the interview is/when they will let you know about the job. This is also a great opportunity to ask another banker question - "Are there anything else you need me to tell you or clarify in order for you to offer me the job?" Confident and giving them the chance to tell you what's worrying them and for you to assuage that worry.
Finally, and most importantly, keep going, keep believing and don't let your head drop. You fucked up? You made a complete hash of a simple question that you really do know the answer to? Make a joke, keep going and don't stress. Absolute worst thing you can do is start believing that you're rubbish, because otherwise other people will too.
You're great, and you know it. Go kick some arse.
PJW
1. An example - he changed England's kit from a traditional loose rugby shirt to a skin-tight one that had no loose cloth to grab. In the quarter final against Wales, Will Greenwood's winning try could probably have been stopped if he'd been wearing a shirt that had cloth for a Welshman to grab.
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